Space-Time Continuum: Love Letters to Jay
July 16, 2024For Jay:
I love you in the future from where you are right now,
and from 7 hours in your past where I am today.
I love you in Asia, in Europe, in all the seas I’ve traversed
just to be in the same timeline as you.
I love you in the summer, under the rain,
in dark clouds forming,
in the blooming of flowers we’ve never seen,
in apocalypse,
in broad daylight.
And I will meet you in the future very, very soon
to love you ad infinitum.
- written in 2021, on my last days in Lisbon, before coming back to the Philippines
For Jay:
I do not remember which star I wished upon
when I said
all I want is to be content
and at peace
in this lifetime
that this star gave me more than I could ever ask for
and brought me within the radius of someone made
of tenderness, warmth, and magic
that in every ordinary thing there is in my life
washing the dishes
driving from point A to B
having breakfast with no view
when done with you, becomes an adventure I’ve never had before
and that I’d love to be on
every. single. day.
And let me tell you,
I’ve jumped off planes and
slept on the edge of a 500ft cliff
but this is something else.
Everything you touch turns into sunlight
and gold
-even laundy and dirty dishes.
How could I ever thank the star
that led me to walk beside you,
loving you
each day of this lifetime?
- written in 2022, a year after moving in together
You started off saying that there’s only a 20% chance
that Mt. Fuji shows itself to people who come here.
That those who get to see it are blessed with luck.
The weather forecast said there would be a thunderstorm that day,
but we went anyway,
telling ourselves that the sight of it
would just be a lovely bonus.
The same way that we took a chance
on all the seemingly impossible things
that beautifully worked out in our lives,
and have led us to this very moment -
exactly because we chose to say yes,
no matter the odds.
That day, there was a calm sky above us.
It never rained.
And Mt. Fuji was there with us wherever we walked,
bearing witness to another chance we’re taking.
- written in 2023, after Jay proposed to me in Fujikawagichiko
They say things will happen so fast,
and it will all be a blur.
But at random times of the day,
while listening to a song or feeding the cat,
suddenly it’s June 4 again, a Tuesday,
I’m sitting next to you,
watching our loved ones have a good time.
I’m pretending to take a photo of it in my mind,
then I tell you,
“This is so nice. We did this. All of this.”
- written in 2024, a month after our wedding
Bonus:
17 years ago, when you asked me to be your graduation ball partner in high school.
We were 16. I wish I had written something back then,
but we were young, busy being ourselves,
without a single brain cell asking where this might take us.
* Overloaded on the wedding photos a bit, all taken by the wonderful team of Oak St. Studios. They made an entire album of our day here <3